Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Family Talks: A brother/sister bobsled adventure.

Recently, I came up with what I think is going to be a great series of posts on my blog!!  I thought how I have all these wonderful people in my family with amazing stories and thoughts and how I really wanted to share them with you!  Not all of my family actually blogs so some have been hesitant but I  have faith that they will come around.  For our first installment of the new series "Family Talks," we are starting with my brother Brown.  He blogs at Chronicles of a Brown Man.  The only warning I give you about his blog is that it is not always PG but he is amazing writer.  He cross posted this story on his blog so you will see it there as well.  Hope you enjoy the first post in this series.

When my sister asked me to be a guest writer on her blog, my initial thought was that she must have gone crazy, obviously forgetting my penchant for sarcasm, innuendos, and fanfare. Not the first choice for mommy-blog material. Even though I often push boundaries or flirt with impropriety, I also venture into the contemplative caves of the mind, and peer deep into the reflective pools of my subconscious, asking questions, turning over rocks, and creating ripples. I suspect this is where she wants her readers to go...and not waking up naked with a hangover, next to a monkey smoking a cigarette.

While my sister and I do share a love for baseball, movies, books, and dogs, we couldn't be more worlds apart. For instance, we both talk about boobs...me for my adoration of them and her for their ability to sustain life. She lives on the East coast, and I on the West. She is family oriented and domestic, while I live the whimsical, risk-taking life of the hopelessly romantic bachelor. She has four amazing sisters...and I win have been blessed with five.

Although, growing up with five sisters is kind of like being raised by wolves. You're allowed in the den and are considered family, but they can still tear you up if you get out of line.

Because my little sister and I were closest in age, we generally were forced to entertain each other against our will. From time to time, boredom would overcome our desires to push each other off of a cliff and we would be civil enough to play a game or two, but usually our loathing was too much to suppress and we'd end up fighting, me armed with superior intellect, and her with sharp teeth.

One day my best friend Robert and his little brother David came over to play. Our driveway was at an impressive incline, which made for perfect high-speed descents in my flashy new wagon. After a while, my little sister wanted in on the action. She was obviously unaware that girls are not allowed on all men, Olympic training bobsled teams and I was certainly not budging on a hundred year old policy. In an act of misplaced female activism and defiance, my little sister marched to the pole near the bottom of the driveway and in silent protest, blocked the wagon's path. 

I issued multiple warnings as Robert and I prepared for our next run, but little sis held fast in her sacrificial stance. I figured that once she saw the wagon speeding towards her, that she would naturally move out of the way, but I truly underestimated her resolve and passion for bobsledding. True to my word, Robert and I pushed off and quickly jumped in the wagon, hunching down to maximize acceleration. Fatefully, I was at the helm, steering the red bullet as it raced down the slope, all the while expecting the deviant holding on to the pole to bale on her useless tirade at any second. Before I knew it, the handle flew from my hand and the wagon, seemingly possessed, careened towards my sister as it picked up speed.
I fumbled to regain control, but the handle fell forward and away from my grasp, and was now shooting straight out like a spear, and a split second prior to impact, I was made aware of its target...my sister's hand. This wagon was not made from plastic, but of rugged, unrelenting iron, and it pierced through her pudgy, 4 year old flesh and sinew like butter. Before we knew the reality of what had transpired, shrieks of murder ringed in our ears and the sight of a thumb hanging on for life by a sole strand of tissue, was indelibly seared into memory for eternity. Our mother, well versed in first aid, immediately came to the rescue. Unfazed by the sight of blood, or the dangling digit, scooped up the wounded bystander, wrapping her hand in ice and towels, and rushed to the hospital.
My initial response was, "I told you so", but after the bloodshed and horror, I was truly remorseful and upset. The whole time she was gone, I hoped that her thumb could be reattached and that the Olympic trials would eventually resume without any more hiccups. I now know the answer to the question posed by many physics teachers, "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?" In the end, the little brat returned bandaged and well, and so began a deep seeded hatred that gave birth to years of my little sister's vengeful wrath, and eventually another story of when she had to be rushed to the hospital after another one of my brilliant ideas.

What adventures (or mishaps) did you and your siblings experience growing up? 

If you would like to join in and have a family member post on your blog, please post link in comments.  If I get enough participation, maybe I will post a linkup in the next Family Talks post.


  1. I love it!! My dad had two only children... both daughters. My half sister and I are 12.5 years apart. She adored me, thankfully... because looking back, I was a BRAT. I remember a beautiful white peasant dress (hers) and we were sharing a hot fudge cake. One bite remained. She took it. Seeing it almost pass her lips, I slapped her arm.

    Hem. I rest my case. I was a brat.

    Great start to a series. Are all of the sisters going to guest-blog too?

  2. I remember the incident as an adult and the emergency room trip that followed. Natalie did not take the stitches quietly at all! :)


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